the process of documenting

Too much time has gone past, and i haven’t felt the pressing need to put it down until just recently. I want to remember this time forever, each and every detail, especially the tsunami of emotions that slaps me across the face every now and then. No matter what comes in the future, i will look back upon this time and remember to appreciate what i have.

The past months have been tough. Tough keeping up with myself, as well as trying to hide underneath a positive exterior for the world to see. Simply put – when you experience the endless process of job searching with no results, naturally you’d start to doubt yourself. I’m pretty sure even the most confident of persons will start to question if something is indeed wrong with them.

Everyday i ask myself the same questions – what am i doing wrong? What can i do to change my situation? Am i not looking hard enough? Well to be honest, i really don’t have the answers. But i know that things will change for the better, it will and it has to. It is only a matter of time. And during this time, it is so important to keep my emotions and sanity in check. It is so easy to fall into the pattern of cooping yourself up at home, and finding activities such as having a bath or even a meal a bother. I know. I have been there. But i’ve been making a conscious effort to busy myself with things to do.

So what is a typical day for me you may ask?

1) I wake up in the morning, brush my teeth and wash my face (it is important to take care of your dental hygiene and your skin even if you are not leaving the house! Remember you need to look good for interviews!)

2) Make a fresh cup of coffee. It wakes me up, gets the engine running and makes me happy. You need a good start to each day to set the tone for the rest of the day. It is a good thing to sound awake and chirpy if recruiters ring you up.

3) Switch on my laptop to check emails and log on to Facebook. Check out photos and status updates from my friends and post some updates if i have something to share. This helps make me feel that i am still connected to the world and reaffirms that i am not alone.

4) Go through every job portal i know of on the internet and start searching for opportunities that are relevant to my past work experience. I even visit the websites of companies that i would like to work for and see if they have any openings. Remember, they don’t always advertise on job portals. Apply and send in my resume to those i’ve shortlisted and hope that they call me for an interview. Pray hard!

5) Clean the house (not everyday!) But i must insist that everyone in a similar situation do the same. Living in a dirty house makes you feel 10 times worse. Somehow, it’s just somewhat comforting to be in a bright, clean environment. Also, you get to work off some of that frustration when you work those muscles and do the cleaning. You get tired, and that helps to give you a good night’s rest too. (Sometimes, when i’m depressed and even cleaning an entire shopping mall wouldn’t help, some alcohol goes a long way to helping me sleep at night. Of course, this should not lead to an unhealthy use of alcohol. Always drink in moderation)

6) Do volunteer work. I’m volunteering a couple of times a week at the corporate office of a local non-profit organization which isn’t too far from where i live. Other than lending a much needed hand, the day just passes and by the time i realise, it is already the end of the day and time to go home. It definitely beats sitting at home and willing the phone to ring with good news. It feels nice to be around people too, helps keep me sane.  

7) Scour the Internet for good buys and the latest fashion news. Look current and talk current. Don’t look like cheese that has gone mouldy when you go for interviews. Or look like crap when you go out with your friends. I guarantee you will feel worse when you don’t look your best. I’m not saying you should spend every last cent on anything and everything that catches your fancy. This way, whatever money u have left in the bank will be gone before you know it and what will you live on while you continue with your job search? If you are lucky enough to have a little bit to spare there are always very affordable alternatives to the season’s must haves that can update your outfit. Remember, a bit of creativity goes a long way when you are without resources.

I know for sure there are a million others around the world facing the same problem. If you are one of them, please know that you are not alone. Believe that things will change if you continue to try hard. I know after a while, it starts to become hard to believe but have faith. Cos in a time like this, faith is the only thing that you can keep with you. Friends come and go, money come and go, even family can come and go, but faith will always be with you if you allow it to.