October – A Time of Firsts

October has certainly been full of first time experiences for me – both good and bad. Emotionally and physically, it has been somewhat overwhelming. But hey, i guess that’s what life is all about. I had a couple of reflective moments through the month, and i will endeavour to remember all of them and what they mean to me.

1. My paternal grandmother passed away.
I wasn’t particularly close to her, so i admit i wasn’t overly upset. What broke me though, was seeing how sad my father was. Like most men of his generation, you don’t often see them break down in tears. It was truly an emotional moment for me. Not that i have never thought of what it would be like to lose a parent, but this experience made it seem more real for me. And i must say, it is really scary to think about what it’s like without them in my life. This is also the first time i’ve experienced a death in the family as an adult. When my maternal grandfather passed away, i had no idea what was happening so i guess that doesn’t count.

2. My one and only baby brother got married to his girlfriend of 12 years.
He’s not really a baby, just 2 years younger than I. And since he is the youngest of the 3 of us, he will always be the baby of the family. I’m happy for him, yet kinda sad. I’m not quite sure how to describe that feeling – it’s like it won’t ever be the same again.

3. I bought and read 25 books in October.
Every night i was holed up with my Kindle in hand, refusing to let my eyes close. My husband found me with my hand gripping the Kindle, asleep in bed on several occasions. I was even accused of neglecting him ;p I spent quite a lot of money buying books from Amazon, but i enjoyed several hours of sheer bliss. I knew i was kind of a bookworm, but never did i imagine i could be so hardcore. Reading, even while eating dinner at home.

4. And because i was so busy with my nose buried in my Kindle, i did not watch any Korean dramas for the entire month.
That is quite an achievement for me, considering i am quite a k-drama fan.

5. For once in a really long while, i feel happy at work.
This isn’t exactly a first, but more like a first in a really really long time. Of course, there is no perfect scenario but its been pretty enjoyable so far. When you finally accept that there is no such thing as a perfect job, this is as good as it gets.

6. Doing something stupid.
Of course this is definitely not the first time for me, as i’ve done several stupid things in my life. But this – to my husband, really tops the list. So you know, there is a fee to be paid to the town council every month right? I’ve been paying for it, as usual via ibanking like how i’ve always done it. However, for some reason, they kept sending me letters to notify me of the refunds to my bank account. This happened a few times, but somehow it just didn’t register that there was some problem. And the town council even charged me penalty fees for not paying. So i informed my husband about this, and asked him to call and find out what’s happening. SO, the story is that i’ve been paying to the wrong town council. After the election, i’m no more Holland-Bukit Panjang, but Tanjong Pagar. Hahahhaha! OMG! My husband was so embarrassed, i got quite an earful for this ‘mistake’ of mine. Sheesh.

7. I drove alone.
Since i passed in Sept this year, i’ve not been brave enough to drive on my own. One weekend when my husband was away for the weekend, i decided to drive back to my parents’ place all the way in the East, by myself. I was so nervous i was perspiring even with the aircon. Best of all, i didn’t know how to get to ECP from my place, i actually went another way which was much longer to get onto the ECP.

8. I realized how important my husband is to me πŸ™‚
Not that he’s never been all this while. But through all the good and bad, he’s always been my pillar of strength and i appreciate him even more now. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, so i like that he takes care of me in ways that i can never imagine. I don’t know what i would do without him seriously. Neither of us are perfect, but i’m so glad to have him in my life, and i wouldn’t have it any other way.